Will You Press the Button Roulette: 2/10/16

Will You Press The Button is a website that dishes out unlimited hypothetical situations every time you refresh the page. It has been a saving grace for millions who have procrastinated their studying and/or a meaningless cube task.

The Rules: I will select 4 straight scenarios and then get stuck with one. No page refreshes allowed. Gotta take what the button gods give me.

  • Entering any fictional universe of my choosing sounds great on paper, but if you dive deeper I think I would just be my average-joe self but in ________ universe. Why would I want to keep being a moron, but with a different zip code. I could be in game of Thrones or Gotham, but I would still be a peasant. There’s gotta be like a fictional playboy universe that I’m missing out on here.
  • Being the smartest person on earth is a pretty bold statement. I guess it comes down to how ugly am I’m really gonna look. Are we just talking like your typical ugly high school band weirdo? Or is this more like straight up disfigured with missing body parts and stuff. Huge gamble here. Maybe I’m smart enough to invent something that makes me good looking? Honestly I’d rather be extremely good-looking and the dumbest person on earth.
  • If Morgan Freeman is commentating my life does that mean everybody around me can hear what he’s saying? That would make it pretty tough to go anywhere. Public bathrooms would be a no go. “And now he is taking a shit. Sitting down. Forcing and pushing. Grunting and moaning….” Don’t wanna be that guy for the rest of my life. Let alone watch the big bang theory. Hard pass here.
  • Nobody likes running. Nobody likes runners. Kenyans win every marathon as it is anyways so nobody would be impressed when I won anything and I’d be huge failure if I lost. Pass again.

So it comes to being a disgusting genius or living in a fictional universe. If I take the universes the only ones I would actually want to test out would be Harry Potter or Pokemon. The gamble is that you have to stay in them forever. Not exactly two strong choices there, but I guess it would be cool to have some magic or be able to make monsters fight each other.

As much being a very very smart person tempts me I’m not trying to gamble with this one. The phrase “extremely ugly” leaves too much to chance I ain’t trying to be severely grotesque for the rest of my life.

Give me Pokemon over Harry Potter. Most of the people in Harry Potter only know like 10 lame ass spells I don’t have time to worry about that prick Voldemort trying to take over the world every single year.

Give me a couple poke balls, train up a Gyrados and I’m off to the races.

 

 

What would you choose? Let me know @TheeWillKelly

 

 

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