Who Would Win? You vs. Male Gorilla

How do you think you could make out on a deserted island  by yourself while a gorilla is trying to kill you? If you want the answer to this question and others like it, I would highly recommend heading over to/r/whowouldwin as often as possible. Easily one of the sneaky best subreddits in the game. I guarantee they have a scenario that will peak your interest, especially if you’re looking to get a little procrastination in, which is why you’re probably reading this in the first place.

The name of the game over there is for users to propose a fictional match-ups/scenario in order to see how they would most likely play out. Dead or alive, real or fake anybody and everybody is in play. To give you a general idea here’s a few of their top all time posts:


Yesterday I was scrolling through the a few different choices and I came a post from Houinator that really caught my eye. As you have probably figured out by now it involves you taking on male gorilla that is trying to kill you. Here is the exact situation we’re dealing with:


Pretty straight forward and pretty simple. Kill or be killed by this huge ass gorilla. Below are the top two answers from the thread, one involving a land kill, the other guys uses the water:

A 1


A 2


Most of the people who posted in the thread seemed to think the human would be killed every time and that definitely seems to be the most logical answer. I have no idea how to make traps or spears or a raft. I’m not Bear GryllsTo make it more fair I will change it to 48 hours prep time, a teenage gorilla, and you get a shovel and a hunting knife.

Even with those added benefits I still think the Gorilla takes this about 7.5/10 times. Seems like your only play here is to somehow drown the gorilla. I kinda like the idea of using the sharks against him, but I don’t see any scenario where that could happen. My move would be to make as many bamboo spears as I can as well as make some type of mini rock island that I could use to stand on throw spears and rocks at the Gorilla once he gets too far in the water. I assume gorilla’s aren’t the best swimmers in the world so hopefully he would be moving pretty slow out there and I could land a few spears at him, or better yet he would just drown. Maybe even just swim along the very edge of the reef and hope the gorilla crosses the line and gets eaten first.

I don’t think any type of spear trap in the ground would work either. There’s no way that I could dig a deep/big enough hole to trap that thing. He would probably be able to climb his way out like King Kong up the empire state building. Same goes for sitting in a tree and lobbing spears/rocks at it. Water has got to be the play here.

There also is a decent chance I could outlast the Gorilla on a starvation level. I assume he is only going to eat meat and it doesn’t seem like there a lot of food options for either of us, but I like my chances to either get a fish or some small animal to keep me alive for just a little bit longer.

Honestly if I could survive more than a week I would consider that a win. If it looks bleak I just swim out past the reef and accept my fate while I get absolutely shredded into a billion pieces by a swarm of tiger sharks.



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